I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
