This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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