What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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