Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
