I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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