where am i from again
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
