I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
