Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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