Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize