Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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