Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
