Kiss
Puke
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
