Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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