She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
