This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
