Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
