I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
