I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
