The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
