that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
