it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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