Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
