i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
