I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
