mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
