He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
