They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
