thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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