it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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