she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
PANTIES FOUND
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