I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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