You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
