he wants to bone in the snuggie
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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