it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
