we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize