just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
