I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
