On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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