There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
