"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
