you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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