I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize