You really coming over, don't trick.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
