I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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