All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
They should really pass out barf bags in church
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
vagina is talking i cant
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
