I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
