No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
