He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
