Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
