just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
