Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize