The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
