That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
