TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
barbara walters just said penis...
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
