I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
