walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
