i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
