I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
