HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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