i may or may not be watching the land before time
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I am available for nakedness
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
