Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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