New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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