$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
