thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
