Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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